Miscellaneous Musings

Cooler heads prevailed...Addie has two new cups to drink from that feature straws. I told her I would get her something to drink so I poured her some juice and started putting the top on, or so I tried. Addie sat at my feet and began growing impatient, so did I. With ever increasing decibels Addie made it known she wanted her drink NOW! I continued trying to get the lid on but couldn't do it and I was getting mad. I thought of forgoing the little grooves and screwing it on and instead just jamming the top down until it stuck. Finally, Monica came downstairs as I blurted out in obvious anger, "I'm about to punch this thing!" Without missing a beat Monica replied, "It would probably help if you put the right top on."

Cooking with Ease...has anyone else ever experienced the genius of aluminum foil? Two reasons why aluminum foil is the greatest invention ever... (1) No cleanup required. There are no dishes to wash afterward. You simply ball up the foil and throw away. (2) It never gets hot and burns your hands. I still don't understand this one. Someone a lot smarter than me might have to explain this. On second thought, I would rather just allow the mystery to remain.

Audience Participation

As you may have noticed I added a new page element to the right entitled, "Memorable Meals." The reason for their place in my memory is varied but nonetheless memorable. I invite you to share some of your most memorable meals. Share away.

Oh, the Horror...

Today's outing was scheduled to take place at the mall so Addie could play. I decided before heading there we would go to Shoe Carnival to exchange some shoes I got as a Christmas present. As soon as Addie finished her lunch we headed out the door bound for the madness that was 95th Street. After waiting over 10 minutes just to turn right off the exit (due to noon-hour mall congestion) we headed toward the 'Carnival. I handed my shoes to the clerk and began looking for a replacement pair. All the while I'm holding Addie or she is crawling on the floor checking things out. After going up and down the aisles several times it became apparent that they didn't carry the same style. This wasn't a big deal since there were a lot of good alternatives so I picked Addie up and we continued looking. At this point something dawned on me--I never changed Addie's diaper after lunch. It dawned on me because my sleeve was wet from holding Addie. I figured I better hurry the bus up or else we could have a mess on our hands. I asked the man behind the counter where the bathroom was and he pointed somewhere toward the corner of the store. I thought to myself, "Thanks for the very specific directions, I will change my daughter over in that very specific corner that you just pointed toward." Hurriedly I moved toward the exact location he alluded to and found three doors, two of which were locked and the other had a sign reading "Employees Only." (Any time I see a sign saying that I immediately think of the White Castle in Cincinnati whose similar sign read "Employes Only"; anyway I digress). At this point Addie is beyond soaked, getting frustrated that her dad has been walking up and down the aisles for the elusive bathroom and I am sweating profusely. The girl behind the counter then tells me that the bathroom is located inside the worker's break room and that it is okay for me to go in there. That would have been nice to know the first time! I enter this room where another gifted worker is mumbling something to herself and I open the bathroom door to find no diaper changing station. So I pulled Addie's diaper supplies out of her bag, lay my jacket down on the floor of the bathroom, and begin changing her diaper. Addie had decided to drop a bomb on her dad for the second time today (not a regular occurrence which caught me off guard) which only complicated matters. After cleaning her up I was preparing to put her new diaper on when out of the blue, a geyser erupted. That's right, as if things couldn't get any worse at this point Addie peed all over the vinyl thing beneath her, my coat, her pants, and her onesie. Perfect! I felt like such a doofus. Anyway we got cleaned up and headed out of the bathroom, past mumbling employee, toward the very helpful front-counter help, grabbed my shoes that don't fit, and headed to the car. I had had enough. I would cut my losses and call it a day. Well not really. I realized that this wasn't Addie's fault and we still had plenty of time to go to the mall so she could play, so that's what we decided to do.
As we took a seat in the food court area I realized the gods were not done with me yet. While eating my usual lunch from Original Pizza I looked up only to see what no eyes should have to see...a very large lady breastfeeding her child with her shirt riding halfway up her very rolly stomach. I know and realize how insensitive that sounds and I am all for women's lib, but her liberation should have some bounds shouldn't it?

Shrinking Health Coverage

Last week I receive a publication in the mail from one of our local health care institutions, Olathe Medical Center. In the mailing was an offer to receive more info about particular divisions within the center and also an offer to receive a FREE First Aid Kit for the home or car. We'd heard wonderful things about their maternity ward so I thought I would take the initiative and supply my wife with great info about having a baby there and also take care of my family by supplying us with a First Aid Kit. Olathe Medical is a very big hospital and located in one of the wealthier counties in this country; therefore, I thought this First Aid Kit should be a pretty decent acquisition. Au contrare! This week we received a manila envelope in the mail from said health care institution. I felt like Ralphie on the Christmas Story when he got his decoder in the mail. Hurriedly I ran into the house to open this envelope only to find this...



Yes here it was in all its glory...a First Aid Kit that couldn't aid a broken wing on a mosquito. To the left are the illustrious contents of the promised First Aid Kit. I included the dime so you could get an idea of the size of the First Aid "Kit." Now that I think about it I wished they would have just sent me a dime--it is certainly worth more!